That moment in my life happened on Saturday, September 8, 2012. It seemed like yesterday when my son Jonathan was crawling, walking, and forming words. As a parent, you are never prepared for your child to leave home. Even though you might say, I can’t wait for you to move out of my house,” – you really don’t mean that!
As my son’s departure date approached, reality began to set in. My mind was running 90 miles going north, trying to figure out if I had properly prepared him to handle life outside of our home. Did I shelter him too much? Have I placed inside of him enough core values, principles, morals, standards, and beliefs we live by? Did I teach him the basic essentials to care for himself – cooking, cleaning, laundry, managing money, and making good decisions? Did I do everything within my power as a mother to care, nurture, and train up my child in the way he should go? Did I? One thing I realized while questioning my parenting skills was that “parenting does NOT come with a manual.” I can remember saying to myself, “I did the BEST I could do with what I had.” That comforted me, but I was still questioning my parenting skills.
As I drove my son to school (South Carolina), I kept thinking he was really leaving! What ifs began to run through my head non-stop! The ride seemed as if it was moving too fast for me. At times I would slow down the car in order to have more time with my son. Once we arrived at the school, I made sure that he had everything he needed. I found myself repeating myself about life, making good decisions, talking to the Lord, being a good leader, and everything else I could think of – haha! I wore him out! What I did not realize was that I’ve been saying those things since he was a toddler. Please know that I did not come to that wonderful realization on my own; those were his words!
As we were preparing to leave South Carolina and head back to Atlanta, I found myself literally “Holding On” to my son. He said to me, “Mom, you have to Let GO!” I didn’t want to let go because I was uncertain whether or not I did a good enough job raising him. What if I forgot to teach him some things for the past 18 years….what if?
It wasn’t until I was driving back to Atlanta that I became free from my inadequate thoughts. I received a text message from my son, which said, “Mom, thank you for raising me, teaching me, feeding me, and providing for me….. YOU’VE DONE A GREAT JOB. I love you.”
Let me tell you, I started to pump the brakes and make a U-turn. My inadequate thoughts immediately disappeared. At that point, my son assured me that with the teachings he had been taught and learned from, he was prepared to embark upon a journey filled with “Endless Possibilities.” I responded to his text message with a call and said (with tears in my eyes), “Son, you are about to make me turn this car around and come back and give you a hug -haha. He said, Mom, go home!!!”
Letting Go is never an easy thing to do, especially when you are attached to that person. But I can assure you that if you plant good seeds in good soil, you will see and reap a good harvest!